As part of my healthy-eating kick this week (and hopefully the rest of the year), I have been trying to eat more vegetables. My vegetable options, however, are limited to broccoli, frozen veggie mixes from a bag, corn, and either steamed carrots, peas, or cauliflower. So I have eaten broccoli at at least one meal a day for about four days in a row now- the steamed carrots tend to be mushy, as do the veggie mixes.
I didn't know I could get so sick of broccoli so quickly. Yes, I know it is a high-fiber food. Yes, I know that it has lots of vitamins in it. And I'm sure I'm benefiting from its sudden presence in my diet. But seriously, I'm getting sick of it. I was excited to have peas yesterday instead of broccoli. Today I put a little corn on my plate with the broccoli to mix it up a bit. Yet I have to admit, it's really starting to get old.
In better news, I took an abs class! The gym had a try-it-free night, so I went with a friend to give it a shot. I really, really liked it. I was sore the next day, but I figure that if I try to imitate that workout two to three times a week, plus attending the class once weekly, it will help me along in my fitness goals a lot. I already paid and registered for the class, so I think that the financial commitment will really make me physically commit to it.
Enough about that. What really got me thinking and reflecting the other night was a great conversation I had with a friend. We had originally meant to run over to the store quickly to get some snacks, but she suggested that we sit down and enjoy them there. And as often happens when you spontaneously take the time to let your mind and conversation flow freely, we ended up having a rather deep and personal talk about things like happiness and our New Year's resolutions. This talk was especially meaningful to me because this is a newer friend of mine, and I can't recall our really having a conversation like that yet.
So: happiness. Big topic, right? For my friend, this was very closely tied to her goals for the year. She said that her memories of happiness were all tied into major experiences she had- family vacations, major accomplishments, etc. What it came down to was that she decided she was going to do things that were going to make her happy, the things that she wants to do.
She also talked about becoming the person that she wants to be. Readers, this is something that I feel like we read about a lot in magazines and see in self-help books and hear on morning talk shows. But it is true. I am a firm believer in the principle that we get back exactly what we put out to the world. If you are kind, optimistic, and helpful, you will be received positively and will receive kindness back to you. If you are mean, rude, and antisocial (and by antisocial I do not mean shy or introverted, I mean straight-up antisocial), you will have difficulty meeting people and making friends. Pretty simple, right? But beyond this karma-reminiscent idea, it gets a little more complicated. Besides being nice, polite, and welcoming, what other traits would you like to put out to the world? What do you think they will help you accomplish? How will they make you better? What will you get back from it? And how do you go about enacting such change?
I'm thinking it starts with actions- definite, concrete actions. For example, if you would like to be the kind of person who has and attracts a diverse group of people, join a club that is something you've never tried before but have always wanted to. Hold doors open for people. Chat people up in line. Sit next to somebody new in class and say hi. Or joke about the teacher. Or even complain about the reading- but in a lighthearted way; don't be too negative or pessimistic. These are suggestions that I myself need to take as well.
The actions, however, must be organic in nature. They must come from you. Don't change yourself just for the sake of change, or enact such change in a way that is not authentically you. There's no point in being false. You may hurt others and will definitely hurt yourself in the end.
For example, I would like to meet more boys. I could certainly meet more boys by wearing skimpy clothes, dancing very suggestively, drinking to excess, and freely giving out my number and offering...favors. But that, as my friends can tell you, is certainly not me. I dress with a certain degree of modesty. My body does not move like a hip-hop dancer's. I don't like losing control of my actions. And I'm not interested in promiscuous hook-ups. So, while I would meet plenty of boys this way, it would not be true to who I am. And if it's not true to who I am, isn't it counterproductive to my goal of becoming the person I want to be? Maybe you don't like everything about yourself right now. But you do still want to be you. Does that make sense?
I am proud to say that the other night was a step in that direction. My friends and I decided to wander and find someplace to go. And indeed we did! I consider it a good night. For one, I got out, which I consider an accomplishment. I also met and talked with some nice guys. It again proved to me that the opportunities are out there; you really just have to let go a little bit and take a risk.
So about a week into the real beginning of my New Year's resolutions, I'd say I'm making pretty good progress. I hope you are, too.
With love,
Imara
I am proud to say that the other night was a step in that direction. My friends and I decided to wander and find someplace to go. And indeed we did! I consider it a good night. For one, I got out, which I consider an accomplishment. I also met and talked with some nice guys. It again proved to me that the opportunities are out there; you really just have to let go a little bit and take a risk.
So about a week into the real beginning of my New Year's resolutions, I'd say I'm making pretty good progress. I hope you are, too.
With love,
Imara
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