Hey blogosphere,
So in this entry, I pretty much want to talk about progress, and how I've actually been doing with my resolutions. Obviously, I'm failing a little bit on the blogging one, as I promised myself one entry a week and I think it's now been more than a week, possibly two weeks since I last posted. So I apologize.
Things have been progressing very well otherwise, though. I've been working out up to six days a week, and it seems that I have committed to core strengthening. That's a big step for me as I've always been one to focus more on the cardio than on any kind of muscular strength, and it appears that I have made that big step forward. Now, though, is the point where I feel I might be about to plateau. Right now, about three or four weeks after I've started this big new commitment, is when I need to step it up. My plan is to add reps or new exercises to my core strengthening and weight lifting routines, and to either extend or intensify my elliptical workouts. I also plan on adding running to my workouts a couple of times a week, rather than having to start all over with running in the spring as I have the past few years. I've gone running twice in the past two weeks on the treadmill, and I hate it a lot less than I did last year! So that'll be a nice way to crosstrain and push my body and confuse it a bit.
My food plan has been all right. After I attempted a one week mini-detox (remember: mostly whole foods, lots of fruits and veggies, no junk and little refined food, etc.), I loosened up quite a bit. And now I'm back to almost where I was before with my eating habits. Now, they're not awful- I don't eat a lot of fast food or chips or any of that. But, I do like to splurge on desserts, snack to excess (especially at night), and eat beyond the point of fullness. I need to revamp this. I'm going to bring back some of the detox restrictions and fix this whole snacking business. Either I need to snack less, or I need to snack better. I'm about to get a whole lot busier with work and rehearsals for a show, on top of all my regular class load, so I'm going to have to find a way to maximize my health and fitness efforts.
The plus side is that I really enjoy exercising. I know, you might be thinking, "Screw you," but really. I think I'm getting a little addicted to the endorphins that I get from doing it. My moods are pretty stable, I feel less stressed (although that could be because my workload hasn't really amped up yet), and I look forward to it. I haven't been able to see much results yet, but it's hard when you look at yourself in the mirror practically every day. The big test will be swimsuit shopping for spring break, in just about a month!
Speaking of maximizing my time, I need to work more efficiently. Recently I've realized just how much I check my Facebook. It's a little ridiculous when you reset your news feed to Most Recent and you've seen everything that's been posted in the last hour- multiple times. I will have so much more time for various activities- exercising, getting more work done, reading the New York Times- if I don't check it four times an hour. So, beginning tomorrow, I'm going to cut myself down to twice a day. All my important notifications get sent to my inbox anyways, so there's no need to check up on it if I haven't gotten anything important in my email. Which, by the way, I will keep checking compulsively because of all the important emails I receive regularly regarding my classes, rehearsals, work, and the like.
Then there's the issue of boys, and personal change beyond the physical. Things have certainly been progressing in the boy department- week by week I get a little bit further along. But I'm starting to have some real doubts about how this is all going, and if it's going too quickly and in a way that I really don't want it to go. I swear, I am not engaging in dangerous behaviors. Not even close. But I'm not making any real, personal connections. Everything feels very anonymous and weird. And that's definitely not what I want. I am very lucky to have a group of friends who are largely in the same place that I am, and from what I can gather we're having a lot of the same questions.
I've come to the conclusion that I need to do some re-evaluation. I need to take a serious look at myself and ask myself some big questions, including: 1) What do you really want? 2) How are you going to achieve that? 3) What are you getting now? 4) Is it satisfying, and if so, in what way? 5) How do you really feel about it afterwards? 6) Do you really feel like you're moving anywhere? and other questions of a similar nature.
Luckily, I am going on a retreat next weekend which I think will really give me some time to reflect, especially in the context of my faith, and may possibly lead to some new relationships. This retreat is optional, so everyone who's on this retreat wants to be there. I think that will be a good sign.
So, here we are in February. Already a whole month plus after the New Year! Wasn't it just Christmas? It's time to do some reflection, re-evaluation, and revamping. I'll try and be better about blogging to keep you up on how this all goes!
With love,
Imara.
P.S. I also think that this all necessitates some patience. I'm only four weeks in and I'm all anxious about where it's going! Here's a really great quote about patience and changing yourself for the better:
"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew."- Saint Francis de Sales
